Sharing about

I just thought to spread a bit the awareness:

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/eric-arvin-support-fund/116877

I love these two a lot, although never met them in person (just in their videos). But I read their books and love them, I think they are awesome people and they live now through a very rough time.

A bit about them:

http://www.lambdaliterary.org/interviews/11/25/romance-writers-engaged/?fb_action_ids=616606311734079&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582

Update:

http://sidlove.com/2014/02/23/unbrave-new-world-tj-klune/

Ponderings

I found today something I wrote some five years ago : "Life has this habit to cast you in the most unexpected circumstances … or is just the fact that a person changes over the years, don’t remain the same and in this case not the circumstances are unusual but you are. For instance, I never expected when I was young … or rather younger, to be this average woman with average life. I always thought that I’ll have a rather dramatic, or exceptional life. Maybe because my inner life is, and always was, more rich than my real life."

While still true in the way my inner self it is the same, the real life has turned out to be quite challenging and interesting and because of that truly wonderful and fulfilling. I learned a lot about the giving of yourself with real meaning behind that. And while I'm not quite there and stumble along, still learning, I'm feeling much better about myself and about life, which I knew for a long time that was about the journey not about the destination.

And because it seems that I'm feeling in a sharing mood:

a palm or a leaf
in the sun
casts the same shape of beauty
on the ground

love can mean many things
love can take any form

a blade of grass or a tree means both
strength and fluidity

nothing can be more than love

not caring what shape it would take
what pattern it would become

being forever the dance of joy
piercing your heart

as an arrow of light

near the shadow of a palm
or a leaf
in the sun

love has no gender, it chooses for you ...

... sometimes engulfs you, it always is greater than you ... because sometimes you feel like this no matter who is the other person and what gender:


I’m feeling inhabited by you
My feelings have your eyes form,
Your lips

My soul’s rooms are painted with your image
I don’t dwell myself anymore

Lost in you I feel like the bird
in wind
Like the sound in violin
Like the wave in stream

I startle with you
I blink with you
But when you slumber I guard your sleep
Afraid that if I fall asleep as well
you would disappear
And take with you my being

That I will lost myself forever
(mh, belonging - 1986)

As opposed to that feeling :

There can't be so much as a leaf there
So much emptiness engulfs the space
So quiet the spirit's pace
So silent the light arises

There cannot be so much as a leaf in there
Only the soft groan of a dream
Only the swift flight of the eye.
(mh, loneliness - 2008)
winter2

Because Christmas is silently approaching

Something I wrote some years ago ... I didn't worked it, didn't rethink it ...it's just how it first came:

Angels

That’s what they are made for

To keep our dreams

upon their wings

One for faith and one for hope

That’s what they are made for

To keep our tears inside their souls


...  so, happy Holidays, with light in our souls, smiles upon our faces, and loved ones around us.

Musing of the day

Along our life we learn so much through struggles ... some more than others, some less. Some rejects anything resembling a lesson, too content with what they are and their lot. I learned a lot through my struggles to live, to change myself, to understand how some inconsequential gesture could be so damning and how sometimes there are no second chances... at all, how sometimes even the more cherished blessings are hard to bear, how indeed the pain could be entwined with pleasure or joy.

That's why I felt that I could identify so much with Brian and Justin with their fight with each other and himself, and that's why I felt so let down when the producers' need to preach trashed their characters, refusing to let them become the best they could be ... humans with feelings and gentleness and weaknesses, and with some kind of redeeming future for all their losses.

The beauty of them was that they were flawed and I could identify with that, but they were generous to a fault and brave and enduring, and that I felt that I could learn from them - and I'm grateful for the way they were at first created, that remained with them(the talent of the actors?!), marking so much more the weirdness of seeing acting them so out of character during the latest two seasons.


I regret my impotence to be in their heads, and bodies, to speak for them and make everything better or to give at least a possibility of better things to come their way  - I regret not having that kind of grace and power and that's why I  enjoy that second-hand through the talent of others when I immerse myself in their stories about two beautiful and brilliant  men.

Thank you all of you with so much talent and patience,  who gave me the pleasure of reading about them.

To know how to give

I saw today the video with Sharon Gless, Robert Gant, Thea Gill and Scott Lowell talking about The Trevor Project.I was pretty emotional seeing how they choose such a worthy cause - because, sadly out there are still a lot of young people swamped in feelings of despair and loneliness. I loved to see and hear them, every one of them with the same distinct voice (except Sharon she speak a lot different from Debbie).

Although I'm not a teenager anymore I still remember how full of angst and self-deprecation those years could be, and how the people who surround you could make a lot of difference in how you navigate toward maturity.